The Navigating the Online World discussion and presentation series kicked off a couple of weeks ago with Greg Godard, Division Psychologist with Prairie Rose Public Schools, and his wife MaryLou Godard, Division Psychologist with the Medicine Hat Catholic Board of Education (MHCBE), presenting on the dangers of excessive screentime.  

Definitions for what constitutes passive versus active screentime varies depending on one’s perspective. According to cococoders.com, there are four times of screentime: creative, communicative, active and passive.  

In an email requesting clarification on this point, Greg Godard wrote, “there are many different types of active screen time, such as motor activity when a person is using a VR headset and boxing or dancing along with a dance video game, in which case motor activities are engaged. Some video games require active problem-solving, and puzzle challenges, which engage the frontal cortex, and that could be considered active.  

“Most social media usage is what’s referred to as doomscrolling, and though you’re flicking finger might be active, that’s a pretty extreme version of active media use, as hours can go by while your brain gets sucked into that dark vortex. I would be cautious using the term active screentime if a kid is just moving their thumbs over a video game controller for several hours. In general, passive screen time refers to sitting sedentary while letting the screen’s information flow over you, like TV or YouTube.” 

The second half of the talk the couple gave at Medicine Hat College focused primarily on social issues. Part of being in the real world is facing problems and making mistakes along with interacting with others who have different processing speeds. Excessive screen time can diminish a child’s ability to step into another person’s way of doing things or understanding their point of view.  

“They are so used to taking on other people’s problems. They are not able to trust that other children can get through that tension and can work through their own problems, boundaries or issues,” stated MaryLou Godard.   

There are a multitude of studies around social issues where the researchers gather a cohort of children and separate them into those who watch more than two hours on screens each day and those who don’t. They then compare parent, teacher and self-reports on specific areas. All findings are correlational, but there is a stronger likelihood a child will struggle with these things when exposed to excessive screen use.   

The practice of Attunement (from Attachment Theory) develops when a parent, usually the mother, makes eye contact with her baby, the baby sees the eye contact, returns it and smiles, the mother then responds with a smile. “A back and forth serve and return process called attunement,” explained Greg. “The brain development at that point is incorporated into their future relationships. The ability to attune with another is important. During in-person conversation, there are bodily cues and we can be attuned to the other person. But, if I am elsewhere or my mind is wandering, attunement is less and we’ve seen a dramatic reduction in attunement in the younger generation.”  

Greg referred again to the book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, which discusses how social media is particularly hard on a child’s social skills and their ability to attune easily with others. “Real life interactions are embodied. I use my body and eyes to communicate and I receive cues from the other person. Online social media interactions are disembodied, I can’t see the other person, it could be a complete stranger, it could be AI, it could be a catfish, but I don’t know and I don’t have to use my body,” said Greg. 

Real life interactions are synchronous, occurring at the same time, where subtle cues about turn taking and timing are relayed from person to person. Online and social media interactions are asynchronous. A text or message is sent out and there might be an immediate response, or it could be days, which can cause some attachment and attunement issues in kids. Additionally, real life interactions are often one to one, or one to several, whereas online interactions can be one to thousands where those posting are often hoping to get as many likes or comments as possible.  

Real life interactions also have a high bar for entry and exit, if a person gets kicked out of a group or has a problem with someone, they are deeply motivated to repair the rupture. Social media has a low bar for entry, one click and the person is in. Alternatively, they could be blocked, unfriended, or left on red, which is often viewed as a bitter message.  

“They aren’t alike in many ways even though we pretend it is real social connections,” concluded Greg.  

“Many teenage or preteen girls are confused with how to have boundaries and what is the online world versus what is the real world,” continued MaryLou. “Even though we live in Medicine Hat and will likely see that person next week or tomorrow, there is an anxiety response around avoidance. I won’t have to deal with that if I don’t see them, I’ll just avoid the relationship and it will go away. There is some confusion around that piece that causes some mental health problems. There are real differences between the genders when it comes to social media and the effects of it on anxiety.”  

For males, screentime issues tend to revolve around video gaming and pornography and for girls it is social media, both are addictive and both are causing severe problems.  

Examining trajectories for anxiety, with many countries showing a similar trend year by year, there is a gradual upslope since the 1960s until 2010-2012 when it spikes upward, particularly for females. Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram came online about 2002 and were a place to reconnect with people for about seven years. In 2009, the like or retweet was instituted and in 2010-2012, youth were able to open an account with parental permission. This is when social media, as we know it today, really launched and, given the trend is global, it appears highly correlational that social media use is causing global increases in depression and anxiety. 

A 2024 study of mental health in youth reported six hours of screentime per day resulted in a 2.5 times higher likelihood of anxiety. The six-hours might not be sequential, but accumulatively through the day where a phone is repeatedly checked for notifications. “There are all these issues, anxiety, depression, attention, social skills, and the addictive nature of the brain in the frontal lobe and how structural changes take place with a decrease of grey matter in that area,” stated MaryLou. 

Greg added that watching screens is similar to the dopamine burst of cocaine, which can be witnessed by a similar response to drug withdrawal when forcing a child away from a screen. Studies examining youth admissions into ER found an 11% increase nationwide, although this percentage was much higher (25%) in Medicine Hat.  

“It was hard enough when I was a girl and there was no social media in terms of confidence in who you are and what that means to stand up to pressure and say I am who I am and I don’t care what you think,” said MaryLou. “Being a girl has its own set of issues, guys too, but social media affects girls mostly. There are some new things with Gen Alpha, one is the age of menarche has decreased than for Gen X. The reason that is important is because it creates lots of new changes in the body hormonally that the frontal lobe might not yet be ready to deal with. One of the biggest issues with both males and females who come to see me is they are trying to figure out their friend’s problems, taking on the weight of these bigger life issues, when their brains are unable to handle their own.”  

So not only are girls questioning who they are as a person, they are also more aware of worldly issues. When cyberbullying and internet predators are added in, there is much that girls need to be protected from.  

“Girls brains are designed to be more affected by visual social comparison, which is what SnapChat, Facebook and Instagram are all about, comparing myself to what I see online. I see a picture of my friend, I might know in the back of my mind she’s put it through seven filters to make her lips puffy and her eyes large, but I’ve got a 12-year-old brain and it’s difficult to fully understand. It’s more they are thinking I wish I was more beautiful,” explained Greg.  

“Guys look at girls and girls look at girls but for different reasons. Girls look at girls to compare, to see if they are measuring up, which is a very different issue,” added MaryLou.  

Referring again to The Anxious Generation, Greg said Haidt discusses whistleblowers who worked at Facebook. They surreptitiously took photos of slides from corporate meetings showing how the teenage female brain works and how, with the right content, it can be hooked and made addicted. This was part of their education for employees where it was explained how the algorithm will change depending on where someone’s finger hovers for a fraction longer.  

“Social media relationships are a lie,” stated Greg. “It’s a terrible lie for girls because the female brain is designed for communion and connection, they want connection with people around them. Social media promises to deliver just that, lots of it with an untold number of friends, but they sacrifice the depth of intimate relationships a girl truly seeks. The idea that you want to increase your number of friends but decrease the depth of those friendships is deeply damaging to females.”  

The first step to figuring out what to do with all this information is awareness. With firm, fair, flexible parenting, there is a fine line between having empathy yet remaining strong enough as an adult to bear the weight of those consequences. Children are not thinking long term, they are thinking of now and they aren’t going to be happy with any limits put in place.  

“Close communication, a willingness to listen to children and teens thoughts and feelings. Being nurturing along with having structure, a firm backbone and the ability to say I’m setting a limit, you don’t like it but it’s still there because I’m choosing this for you for your own safety. The children with these parents are more confident, more socially adept, and able to solve problems on their own,” stated Greg. “In homes where parents communicate with their children and allow their children to communicate back, the children tend to put up with screen time limits. Studies say, if the parent is able to have a conversation about the limit, but still stick with the boundary they have laid down, the kids might not like it, but they will put up with it.”  

MaryLou acknowledged there are many models of parenting to choose from, but she likes the IDEAL acronym, which is from a program looking at relationship-based parenting and trust, to use when a limit has been disobeyed.  

I for immediate, responding quickly with less words more action.  

D for direct contact with eyes to say you are my beloved child and I want to benefit your future self. Be efficient with the least obstructive consequences to get them back on track to respecting set limits.  

A for action-based, kids will not respect our talk, we have to do it.  

L for level at the behaviour and not the person. Kids are not used to making mistakes, so focus on the fact that it’s our job to help them learn limits so their minds don’t have to wander, they can focus their attention, and they can also have boundaries in their relationships and not take on everyone else’s problems.  

“Setting boundaries is hard as a parent,” said Greg. “For me it is always good to remind myself about the two-year old running out into the road and the parent runs out and grabs them. It’s not just about saying no, it’s about protecting them from harm. The limits being set are protective and loving.”  

There is a high correlation between how much time a parent spends on a screen in front of their children and how much time the children subsequently spend on their screens. If the parent reduces their screen time in front of children, it will likely help reduce their screen time.  

“A quick process checklist on how to go about this, the one I want to point out,” said MaryLou, “is awareness, find out what is going on, how many hours are they spending on screens. The next is having a backbone, adopting the doctor’s, health organization or other people’s recommendations is helpful, then making a chart and connecting with others.” 

“There are different limits for various ages,” continued Greg, “but two hours is an easy one to remember. All studies show there is a difference between those who watch more than two hours and those who watch two or less. Almost always there is a two-hour threshold, then problems begin arising after that.”  

One recommendation that never varies from one organization to the next is no screens in the bedrooms. Another is none at the kitchen table when sitting down to eat. One suggestion is to have a charging pod in a central area where everyone in the household brings their phones and devices ,so they are all charged in the same place overnight.  

There are three parental control apps – Google, Apple and Microsoft – to set limits on children’s devices. Greg recommends using them less for spying and cautions against implementing them without letting children know, which can cause relationship and communication problems and make things worse. He recommends using them more for awareness of limit setting while ensuring there is open communication with your kids so they know you are seeing what they are doing online.  

All sessions are being offered free of charge, the second one, called Boundaries and Balance: Real Talk on Contracts, Compromise and Limit Setting, is on Wednesday, February 26 at 7 p.m. in the theatre at Medicine Hat College.  

By Samantha Johnson, Prairie Rose Public Schools Content Writer